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Monday, 20 October 2014

Arwel Afanc and the Quarry of Gloom


 Perhaps the "proto-orthostat" at Rhosyfelin was a ping-pong table?  Looks remarkably like it.  But I digress.......


Mindful of the recent learned discussions on this site, I have started work on the latest blockbuster series for the small or large screen.     I am also mindful of the fact that Tony is pitching to be executive producer of the series, or at the very least,  casting director.   That's fine by me -- he clearly has what it takes.

Like all the best blockbuster sagas, the whole thing has to be based on the truth, with a modicum of fantasy added to keep the youngsters happy.  Arwel Afanc is a name that rolls off the tongue nicely, and it has a subtle ethnic ring to it.  There are also resonances with Buffalo Bill, Crocodile Dundee, Tiger Woods, Nigel Molesworth and other heroic figures from the past who are linked with the names of fierce creatures..........

As ever, I am starting from the end and am working towards the beginning.  The conclusion has to be the discovery of a body crushed beneath that gigantic proto-orthostat which was about to be shipped off to Eric the Red in southern Greenland when everything suddenly went wrong.  Whose body was it?  Watch this space......

5 comments:

Miss Tyring O'Dyssey said...

Brian, a true story that may influence your production.
My mother-in-law, Welsh she is you see now, came in late one evening looking very scared, she quickly closed the door and said the Afanc was following her, saying that as she came through the woods there was a sinister scraping noise following her, and if she stopped the noise would stop, but as soon as she started walking the scraping noise would return.
As you can imagine this caused quite a stir in the house for we had all been told of the Afanc and how dangerous it was.
We decided to take the mother-in-law outside to show us exactly what she meant, so out we went and the mother-in-law took a few steps in the direction of the woods. It was then that we realised that the noise wasn't the Afanc at all, it was the mother-in-law's arse dragging along the floor.

BRIAN JOHN said...

Nice one -- very politically incorrect, coming as it does from a refined lady, but we don't bother with too much correctness on this site......

TonyH said...

The edition of the magazine "Punch", way back in Sept 1901, is the origin of your caption showing "ping - pong" being played upon a horizontal orthostat.

I am amazed English Heritage hasn't long since picked up on the marketing potential of this illustration.

Surely Simon wassissname (Thurley?), at the Top of that venerable body, should have long since realised that millions of Chinese will soon be wealthy enough to do the Grand Tour of Europe, taking in Stonehenge. Table tennis bats should be the bulk order for the souvenir shop.

TonyH said...

We need a musical impresario for this blockbuster, and I reckon Iceland's Bjork is the lady diva for the task. To quote the recent publicity for her new film:-

"As a musician and performance artist, Bjork has no peers, certainly in terms of applying her considerable imagination to musical presentation"

Her new film, "Bjork: Biophilia Live", has opening narration by "venerable TV presenter David Attenborough". Bjork has commitments to the environment and nature, so should be ideal.

Since Brian's epic offering will take in at minimum Pembrokeshire and Greenland, Icelandic Bjork could be an ideal musical choice. Since she can also bring her actual performances, inventive routines and outlandish costumes to the table, we should seek her involvement in our project.

This may be a disappointment for Pembrokeshire's own Cerys Matthews and her many fans, but maybe Cerys could have a considerable speaking part, with that wonderful Welsh voice?

TonyH said...

OVERHEARD AT THE RECENT OPTIMISTIC RHOSYFELIN ARCHAEO DIG:
We're all Doomed in this 'ere Quarry of Doom/Gloom, Mr Parker Pearson,Sir, there's pterodactyls circling overhead, or at any rate geomorphologists in fancy dress and we've heard there's just NO MORE MILEAGE in all this proto - orthostat/ smokin' gun rhubarb, please can we have our one - way ticket back to Civilisation out of this Lost World of your imagination, surely National Geographic will foot the bill?!?