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Friday, 9 September 2011

Expert unearths new bluestone theory

I was thinking about bluestones, as one does.  It suddenly occurred to me that this has nothing to do with Neolithic tribesmen or sacred springs, but everything to do with fairies.  So I did some digging into my archives.  And lo!  All was revealed by my scientific researches.

I discovered that the region around Carn Alw and Caen Meini, at the eastern end of the Preseli Hills, has a strong reputation as a place where fairies dwell. Look at the following map, which I compiled some years ago after a decade of painstaking research (which was, by the way, not fuunded by the AHRC):

Note that there is a distinct concentration of folk tales about fairies towards the eastern end of the Preseli Hills.  This leads to suspicions that strange things can happen to people who spend too much time in the area, especially if they are liable to hallucinations or are otherwise susceptible to the effects of subtle earth energies.    This hypothesis is confirmed by an ancient tale (which I think relates to Carn Alw, but it could be Carn Meini) of an innocent fellow who was walking past the rock when he was tempted by the sound of eerie music -- and was subsequently taken away by the fairies.  He returned home after 70 years, but when he reappeared he was unaware that any time had passed, and was greatly confused by the world around him.

That, sadly, is what happens to people who step into the fairy circle, or who are otherwise tempted to dance with the fairies.  Could it be that certain learned gentlemen, who are known to be susceptible to all sorts of strange fantasies, have indeed been taken away by the fair folk for 70 years, and have recently returned, blissfully unaware that the world has changed?

At the moment this is just a hypothesis, but I am working on it, and expect confirmation any day now.

in the meantime, I hope that the Guardian newspaper, and the BBC, will immediately pick up on this exciting news and will publish or otherwise disseminate this report verbatim.

4 comments:

Alex Gee said...

Brian
You should write a book about your fairy theory. I'm sure that it would be far more lucrative than that factual nonsense you wrote last time. Glacier transport, how silly is that!!.

Fairies I can believe

BRIAN JOHN said...

Yes, you have a point. I must consult my rune stones before deciding whether to follow your advice...

Bob the Builder said...

The Neolithic people were incapable of transporting the bluestones 200 miles from Preseli to Stonehenge, so the obvious questions are:
a).Who moved the stones from the end of the non-existent glacier trail to Stonehenge, and
b). Who erected the Sarsen's around them?

Perhaps the fairies raised the rocks?

It is often said that bullshit baffles brains, in which case there must be many brainy people reading this blog because there's a load of bullshit comes out of it.

Can't stop, I'm off to build a henge.

BOSCOMBE BOWMAN said...

And then, there's the Curious Case of the Laughing Gnome and the David Bowie Lyrics - see previous Post