I have been given a startling revelation! Suddenly it came to me, after watching the Varsity Match, that Mr Blofeld is still out there in one incarnation or another, orchestrating everything. We know that, because it was in the latest James Bond film, and as we know, it is therefore true.
Blofeld has a cunning plan and a brain manipulation machine (in a secret installation deep inside the Preseli Hills) which he is currently testing out. What it does is scramble the little grey brain cells so that those affected lose the power of rational thought and can be made to believe whatever you want them to believe. Then a sort of mass hysteria or corporate delusion sets in, allowing Blofeld and his accomplices to assess precisely what sorts of psychological impacts there are, and to test how long they last. The first group is the archaeological community, and they are being told to see Neolithic quarries everywhere, and to interpret everything as a part of a great Neolithic quarrying culture in which big lumps of rock were excavated out and carted all over the country for reasons that don't need to be explained.
The experiment has been so successful that it has now been extended to the global news corporations and media people, who are also being told what to believe and what to get excited about. The signs are very promising, and Blofeld and his pussy cat are reported to be very happy about the way things are going.
Who will be next as this great global mind manipulation project gets rolled out? James Bond, we need you --- again!
Ah, Mr John, I've been expecting you! Glad you could drop in!
ReplyDeleteHere I was, all along, underneath Angel Mountain!
This man has been divorced 18 times and has a very unhappy track record with the ladies, so he turned to global - scale crime.
ReplyDeleteIt's all on account of his roving eye.
But you have to give it to him -- he's a tough one. Every time he gets blown up or engulfed in flames, he just pops up again, having changed his looks a bit. Does he change the cat too, I wonder? But I have it on good authority that cats have 9 lives.
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